Can you learn to think positively? The simple answer is yes. Being optimistic can benefit your overall wellbeing, changing our internal and external language to ourselves and those around us.
In the last few weeks our lives have changed in a way that none of us could have comprehended - relating it to some apocalyptic movie, rather than reality.
And whilst this is a forced change and some things are out of our control, the good news is that the way we think, as well as how we talk to ourselves and others, is within our control.
Yes, I can hear you! “I’m working from home, home schooling the kids 24/7 with the other half and you want me to think and talk in a positive manner?” I’m not saying it’s easy. What I am saying is it can be done with practice. I’m four weeks into isolation with my beloved partner, so I too have had those thoughts.
One word can change a mood. Just the other day, tensions were running high in the Brown household and during a tiff, Pete said, “Sarah, right now I’m fizzing!” Fizzing! I’d never heard anything like it and it definitely changed the mood. It still makes me laugh today and we now use it to diffuse any likely tiff/row in our household.
What to look and listen out for in yourself and others
What we say expresses what we’re thinking and feeling. At times of uncertainty, these are what we at Laughology describe as ‘Wonky Thoughts’.
- Black and white thinking: Everyone understands this but me.
- Focusing on the negative: Dismissing the good.
- Fortune telling: That’s not going to work.
- Mind reading: Leave this one to Superman.
- Should, must, can’t: Guilt beatings. I should do a Joe Wicks video.
- Labelling: I’m so stupid.
- Taking things personally: He’s always grumpy with me!
- Exaggerating: I’m going to be in the house forever…
Your brain tricks you into thinking these Wonky Thoughts are accurate and logical, but it’s actually just reinforcing them.
Flip them into positive thoughts and language
Writing thoughts down can help find a trigger and a pattern.
Reframe your negative thought into a new positive thought:
| I made a mistake at work |
My boss is going to go mad, I’m so rubbish, I’ll probably get sacked |
Mistakes happen, I’m going to learn from it and work with my boss to help fix it. |
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Pessimistic (3P’s)
Pervasive: Universal - one problem generalises to all areas of life, e.g. “I’m such a failure.”
Personal/Internal: It’s all about me and tends to blame self, e.g. “It’s all my fault!”
Permanent: Feels like the situation will last forever, e.g. “This is what always happens!”
Optimistic (SIT)
Specific: Doesn’t generalise - “I almost failed maths, but I’m great at sports!”
Impersonal/external: Tends to blame circumstance or includes others - “That was a particularly difficult call.”
Temporary: Nothing last forever - “Tomorrow is another day!”
So, while our brains may want to go into wonky thinking mode, the good news is, just like our muscles, the brain can be trained. By consciously being aware of the words and language we and others use, we can flip these into positives. Positive emotions, thinking and words build our capacity for creativity, empathy, productivity, co-operation, resilience and connectivity.
Sounds pretty positive to us! Why not give it a go?
