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Do you work with a mood hoover? Here’s how to prevent emotional tsunamis in the workplace
We all know someone who sucks the life out of a room when they walk into it, right? The kind of person who people draw straws not to sit next to at the Christmas Party because they’ve always got a worse problem than the person with the problem. If you’re ill, they’re sicker. If you’ve got tendonitis, they’ve got elevendonitis. If you don’t know such a person, I’ve got bad news for you. It’s probably you.
But while some people seem to delight in the role of chief doomster, it’s true to say that we can all be prone to periods of negativity. We all have those moments when our emotions take an unexpected crash, leaving us feeling like there’s a black hole where our sense of joy and positivity used to be.
What’s your explanatory style?
While mood hoovers are generally shunned by positive people, it turns out that they may just be doing what comes naturally because scientists believe humans are hardwired to be pessimistic. According to psychologist Rick Hanson, we have negativity bias built into our brains based on millions of years of dealing with threats.
According to the theory, humans evolved to pay more attention to bad things than good things because in the tough environments in which our ancestors lived, if they missed out on a good thing, such as a chance for an easy meal, they usually had another opportunity in the future. But if they failed to avoid a bad thing, such as a predator, they could die. As George Michael so eloquently put it in the classic hit Young Guns, ‘caution pays’ (although George was talking about death by matrimony rather than death by sabre-toothed Tiger).
In modern life, this negativity bias shows up in other ways. For example, in relationships, it typically takes five good interactions to make up for a single bad one. Studies also show that people will work much harder to avoid losing £100 than to gain the same amount of money, and painful experiences are much more memorable than pleasurable ones.
Thankfully, for many of us, life is no longer filled with jeopardy, so we can think around this inherent propensity to look for bad news and learn to have a different outlook. Indeed early childhood development directly impacts the type of ‘explanatory style’ you have. What this means simply is that some people see the positive in situations and some the negative, and your upbringing plays a role in determining where the balance lies.
Therefore, we should probably cut the mood hoover some slack and understand this is their worldview. It’s not right or wrong, just different, even if they do tend to bring everyone down with them.
How to navigate doomsters
So how do you navigate the doomsters and create strategies to keep your sanity intact and your team thriving when they tip over to the dark side? It’s not about being happy all the time; that’s unrealistic. And it isn’t about pretending things are okay when they’re not. However, it is about having a balance of attitude, especially when team spirit is important.
Try these techniques:
Emotional equilibrium theory: aka the Battle of the Mood Hoovers
Picture this: your workplace as a grand arena where emotions clash in epic battles. On one side, we have the mighty Mood Hoovers lurking and ready to strike. On the other side, valiant Glad-iators (see what I did there), armed with the power of emotional intelligence.
The key to victory lies in understanding the emotions that trigger the Hoovers and managing them effectively. Don’t look at them as the enemy. They are using their evolutionary skills to look for threats. Use their powers to unpick situations and see things you may have missed through your optimism.
Laughter: The magical emotion shield
Laughter can be your secret weapon. It releases endorphins, reduces stress, and helps create a positive atmosphere. Bring laughter into team meets by asking people what has made them laugh that week. Give everyone a chance to respond. This creates learned optimism and encourages mood hoovers to look for the positive
The quantum physics of empathy
In the quantum realm of emotions, empathy reigns supreme. When a team member becomes a mood hover, channel your inner quantum physicist and practise empathy. It's the ability to understand and share someone else's emotional experience, even if you can't explain why they suddenly turned into a grumpy goat. Remember, empathy has the power to heal emotional ruptures and restore cosmic harmony.
The art of non-assumption
For mood hoovers, everything can tend to be as worse as it gets. They will use catastrophic language: ‘It’s always going to be bad’ or ‘It’s all rubbish.’ Instead, don your Sherlock Holmes hat and engage in investigative conversations. Ask curious questions, explore alternative explanations, and unravel the solutions to show that there are positives. After all, the person wearing a frown might just need help with their perspective.
Mood hoover management
To prevent mood hoovers from spiralling into emotional black holes, establish a way to challenge them kindly. At Laughology, we call this ‘challenging wonky thinking’. Help people see that they might be thinking in black and white or catastrophising. Gather your team and talk through wonky thinking attitudes, and agree to use the phrase to support each other to think differently. Use the Laughology prompts here to help.
Laughology has a simple toolkit that helps with this called FLIP it Thinking. If you’re keen to help people in your team see solutions and have a bit more optimism, get in touch. Email our glad-iator, Doug - doug@laughology.co.uk - to discuss ideas.
Stephanie Davies is our chief glad-iator and Head of Happiness. Her unique experience as a comedian and expertise in psychology and business makes her one of the most sought-after consultants internationally, and a popular motivational speaker on the business and after-dinner circuit.
