How do you ask someone about their mental health?

Work is where we spend a large chunk of our time, so it’s inevitable that at some point, the people you work with may experience ups and downs with their mental health. According to Mind, a leading UK Mental Health charity, 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem at some point in their lives.

With this in mind, it’s easy to wonder how you’ll know if a team member is struggling with their mental health at work and, perhaps most importantly, how you can ask them about it.

Let’s dive in.

Signs that someone might be struggling with mental health

Just like our physical health, mental health is a spectrum. This means that we can be mentally healthy and then, because of a life event or ongoing stress at work, struggle. At this point, seeking support and taking action could help a person get healthy again. Ignoring the signs, however, could result in a deterioration in mental ill health.

Signs that one of your team members is struggling with their mental health at work may show in many ways, e.g., changes in performance, turning up late, working longer hours than normal, or starting to make more mistakes than normal. Perhaps they become more sensitive to feedback than normal, or they could present with frustrated outbursts. Sometimes their appearance may change, from weight loss to weight gain, looking tired or withdrawn. They could be quieter or more hyper than their normal self.

This is why it’s important to take the time to get to know each member of your team as an individual. This will enable you to support them in their work day to day and understand when they are not themselves.

If you see a change in the mental health of a team member, ignoring it will not make the problem go away. Having a mental health conversation could be the step they need to get the support they need, preventing their mental health at work from escalating.

A recent report by Researchers for the Centre for Mental Health Thinktank highlighted the cost of mental ill health in the workplace  - staff turnover due to mental illness costs the UK £43.1 billion - so talking to your team members and giving support can prevent them from leaving work due to their mental health.

But how do you ask someone if they are struggling with their mental health?

The approach you take is key to creating an open, constructive, supportive conversation; here are some tips for approaching someone about their mental health at work.

Think about the time and setting: Are you able to give your full attention? If you are going to talk about their mental health, nothing could be worse than being interrupted at a pivotal point. Find a suitable time for them and if the conversation is online, ask your team member if they are somewhere they feel safe to talk. If it’s face-to-face, this doesn’t necessarily need to be in an office; a research study by the Mental Health Foundation showed that 44% of people said being close to nature makes them less worried or anxious, so choosing to go for a walk in some green space could be a great place to have a conversation. Getting away from the office may help them feel more relaxed.

Be clear on your intention behind the conversation: do you genuinely care, or do you just want their work performance to improve? Getting clear on your intention for your conversation is important. Focusing on performance first will diminish any sincerity of care; focus on their mental health first.

Say what you have noticed: If you are not sure how to start the conversation, it can be helpful to say what you see. “I have noticed the last couple of weeks you haven’t been quite yourself, I wanted to check in and see how you are?” When it comes to checking in, it is useful to ask twice. A first response can often be a polite generic, “I’m fine.” Asking twice shows you’re really interested in how they are and can prompt a more honest response.

Listen with empathy: Give your team member time to talk, and ask open questions without judgement – how are you? How are you feeling? When did you notice you began to feel like this? What might be helpful for you right now? Actively listen, be present without distractions, and focus on understanding what they are experiencing. Empathy is key to being supportive - rather than sympathy which can fall into feeling sorry for someone. For further understanding of the difference, check out this brilliant video by Brene Brown: Empathy  vs sympathy

Support: Remember, this conversation is about checking in on their welfare; you cannot diagnose or fix them, but you can work with them, offering to support and work with them with their mental health at work. This may mean making reasonable adjustments, or it may mean they take some time out. Do be aware, though, that work can be helpful for consistency and can provide a sense of purpose. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to mental health at work; listen and work with the individual in front of you.

For some useful tools on mental health and well-being at work, check out our Mental Health Wellbeing Resources page.

At Laughology, we have a programme called Big Chats, Little Chats, creating a culture of effective, trusting communication, which is essential for meaningful conversations about mental health at work. Find out more by speaking to the wonderful Doug, doug@laughology.co.uk

If you imagine an 80s boy band doing back flips and the running man, you’ve got Louisa Rodriguez. And her energy? She’d give Red Bull a run for its money. With specialisms in cultural change, performance coaching, and mental health and vast experience as a facilitator, coach, and learning and development professional, she’s the perfect member of the Laughology team.