Managing stress and unhelpful thoughts - it’s time for an F-word… or three!

Have you ever been geographically ‘Out Of Office’ while being psychologically ‘Chained To Desk’? It can be hard to let ourselves actually step away when we have responsibilities, ambitions or existential angst. But with The World Health Organisation recently describing stress as “the epidemic of the 21st century”, it’s probably *quite important* that we learn to relax a bit.

April was ‘Stress Awareness Month’, but it was also ‘Jim Finally Goes On A Holiday’ month. You see, for me, going on holiday is fraught with psychological danger. I know that if I’m not careful, my own ‘wonky thoughts’ can turn the whole thing into an ordeal - which is about as relaxing as wrestling a naked Hulk Hogan on a hot day. 

With two weeks to go, I was getting battle ready. And if the following scene is familiar, I suggest you tool up too, whether you’re jetting off for some sun or simply hoping to enjoy your weekend off for once.

Picture the scene…

You're lounging poolside, generally loving life. The sun’s shining; you’ve got your Aperol spritz in one hand, a breakfast butty in the other. You’ve used a potent combo of elbow strength and willpower to pin Richard Osman’s The Thursday Murder Club open on your knees. 

Then suddenly, slap bang in the middle of this moment of victory… you find yourself entertaining unhelpful, uninspiring and un-holiday-ish thoughts like:

• “I should be working on the big pitch; what am I doing here!?”
• “How dare I leave Adrian on his own when he’s barely even a year into the role. BAD MANAGER!” 
• “Richard Osman has achieved more this week than I have in my entire life! And he still has time to quaff his perfect hair.” 

The wind changes. A spot of rain lands on your Ray Bans. Your knees flop open, sending Big Rick’s jovial masterpiece tumbling head-first into the water-chlorine-urine cocktail that is the family pool. It sinks from view as fast as your good mood.

Now I don’t know about you, but my partner often tells me I’m at my best in these moments. She loves the way I stop smiling, telling jokes, suggesting sunset walks along the beach, and ferry rides to neighbouring fishing villages. Oh, wait. No, she doesn’t.

Familiar at all?

Well, don’t despair! Because, unlike the £27 copy of TTMC you bought at Gatwick (your second book would’ve been half-price, to be fair), your mood is not permanently ruined. And you can exchange it for free at any time. 

Here are a just few Laughological ways to make the switch (even without a receipt):

F*ck-It

One of our favourite tools at Laughology is the famous F*ck-it Bucket. When in danger of being carried away by a tidal wave of wonky thoughts, quickly jot them down on a piece of paper. (There’s evidence that this in itself helps relieve anxiety, btw). 

Next, tear off any thoughts which relate to things outside your immediate control and literally throw them away into your very own f*ck it bucket. Ideally, you’ll be doing a f*ck-it dance while you do this, too. 

(Curly-Wurly for anyone who sends our Doug a Youtube link of themself doing this). 

Flip-it

Trying to shut off wonky thoughts can be like trying to stop a jet hose by putting your mouth over the end. So instead, maybe just notice the language of your thoughts and dial it down/ inject some humour/ reframe it as constructive. 

For example, the thought: “I’m such an idiot!” could become, “I was such a clutz back there!”. That way, there’s no pressure to think, feel and believe the total opposite at that moment. It may be a stretch if we’re really in a tough headspace, but even a small change like this will act like turning down the hose pressure. 

I still wouldn’t recommend the mouth over the end thing, though.  

Fun-it

There’s no better way to feel happy than by doing things we enjoy. It’s ludicrously simple, but if you think about it, it's the exact opposite of what we tend to do (remember those non-existent walks along the beach from earlier?). 

We don’t need to make any big commitments of time or money - I’m talking about the small stuff: calling a friend, putting on your favourite Whitney song and dancing like no one’s watching for two mins, or learning a sentence in a random language. And arguably the most powerful action of all, laughing! 

When we do things we enjoy, our body creates neurotransmitters, which carry happy hormones to our brains, literally changing our thoughts. And our thoughts affect our emotions, which in turn affect our actions, and so on in a constant cycle. 

So just smiling at someone as you pass them on the street can start a huge chain reaction which ultimately leads to you feeling awesome. Worth a try, eh?

Well, there you have it. A few gentle reminders for myself as I prepare for a relaxing week away. I hope they’ve been useful to you too. 

Oh, and if anyone has a spare copy of the Thursday Murder Club, can I borrow it, please?

If you’d like more support with managing stress or mental health in the workplace, why not take a look at our Wellbeing and Mental Health in the Workplace workshop? Alternatively, you can contact our doug@laughology.co.uk - he won’t make you do a dance, but he WILL answer your questions about L&D.