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Is it a good idea for leaders to facilitate friendships in the workplace with team building days?
Gallup research states that having a “best friend at work” is closely associated with positive factors such as greater employee engagement, higher retention and better safety records, now call me cynical but surely that’s straight from the University of No Sh&t, Sherlock aka common sensicles. Friends are good for you. They are why Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe and Chandler remained in dead end jobs, renting rooms in multiple occupancy apartments well into their thirties when they probably should have moved out to the ‘burbs and got proper careers. Having friends at work can make a humdrum job not only bearable, but pleasurable. There are many ways to develop a friendship-friendly environment, such as creating a social focal point (bean bags and table tennis anyone?), or hosting regular social events. Even just having regular catch-ups where people are encouraged to chat informally and share aspects of their lives outside of work are beneficial. Laughology’s team building days provides ways to do this that are fun and not forced because we know work friends provide a support network and a social structure. In this blog we’ll explore the pro’s and cons of team building activities and share seven top tips of ways you can make friends without forcing it.
Humans are hardwired to seek out positive relationships
Most of us spend the majority of our time at work and so the friendships that develop there are often some of the most important relationships in our lives. Conversely, bad relationships with co-workers can make working life miserable. A study conducted by the Grand Valley State University found that loneliness had an adverse effect on the performance of salespeople. Among other things, they started spending more on wining and dining their customers. Humans are hardwired to seek out positive relationships. Indeed, friendships are so important that disrupting them leads to health problems. And it is not just humans and salespeople. Other animals have friends too, suggesting that friendship is an evolved trait. The exception to the rule is Barry the Laughology cat. We suspect his inability to play nicely is due to deep-rooted kitten-trauma problems. Barry’s wiring is all wrong.
Neurochemicals that us bond and are important for memory and creativity
When we interact with friends we juice our biochemics, flooding our nervous systems with a cocktail of neurochemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, , and serotonin. Or as we like to say at Laughology a DOSE of happiness supports better working. Oxytocin stimulates lactation in mammals and is involved in bonding between mothers and infants, as well as between reproductive partners. Mercifully oxytocin effects are short-lived, so work friendships rarely lead to boob leakage. Studies also show that endorphins, which are involved in reward processes, are associated with social behaviour, especially in primates. The results of one study support the association between endorphins and social bonds; individuals release more endorphins when rowing a boat in a social context compared to when rowing alone. Dopamine, meanwhile, plays a role in the formation of social memories and social preference. And it is believed that serotonin modulates how individuals perceive and respond to social information. In short, friendships make us happy, and when we are happy we are more creative, more productive and healthier. Which is why it’s a good idea for leaders to facilitate friendships in the workplace, particularly where hybrid and remote working practices are a factor. Friendship networks create trust, respect, humour, engagement and cohesion.
Why workplace friendships are good for business and how it can go wrong
When it’s done properly, friendship fostering benefits everyone. But there is a cautionary element to all this. Facilitating friendships, good. Forcing friendships, bad. Some leaders are so keen to drive engagement, they become a little too enthusiastic in their efforts and engineer friendships. This never works. Meaningful friendships develop organically and are voluntary. As adults, we’ve grown out of play dates. Efforts can come across as cringey or even sinister. A report published last year by Gallup gave the example of an unnamed organisation which has a weekly company-wide meeting that spotlights one employee’s best friend at work, like a show and tell, but you bring your bessie along, rather than your hamster or Barry the cat, who would eat a hamster. Another company monitored connections between people in different teams and paired up employees with similar interests. Imagine the horror when a diary invite pops up to inform you that on Friday afternoon you’re book in for a dry-stone walling team activity with Ian from IT.
Friendship links between leaders, managers and their teams can also be tricky and can sometimes create favouritism and cronyism. For example, a study by Harvard Business School and the University of California, Berkeley, found that employees who shared smoking breaks with their boss were promoted more quickly than those who had a non-smoking boss. Socialising between male managers and male employees also played a significant role in perpetuating gender pay gaps. So, while organisations should definitely foster a friendly culture and encourage appropriate, healthy work relationships, they also should be aware of crossing the line. Leave the adults to use their own agency in deciding how their relationships develop. If Pam from accounts doesn’t want to do salsa with Doug from HR, she shouldn’t have to. So here’s out top tips on ways you can promote friendships in a much more well friendly way, without using shoelaces to tie people together for a day long relationship building activity.
Seven ways to make friends at work
Be friendly
Seems obvious, we know, but be open and approachable. Drop the guards. Check any posturing. Leave you aloofness at the door. Make an effort to learn names, introduce yourself to new colleagues and talk to people in different departments.
Put yourself out there
Try moving out of your usual space and mix with people. Don’t stick to your own desk space or only ever work from home
Bond over lunch
Moving away from your desk at lunch time is a good way to make friends. Start going to social space or even invite some colleagues out to lunch in a nearby café. This will give everyone the chance to relax and have a casual chat. You could even bring in treats occasionally to share around.
Be a team player
Offer to help someone or be a mentor in something you are an expert in. Even simple interactions such as helping to carry something up the stairs or make someone a drink go a long way. A little kindness goes a long way.
Get involved
Whenever there is a work event, participate, even if you feel slightly nervous. You might find it hard at first to join in, especially if you don’t know people very well, but if you don’t try, you’ll never know.
Offer ideas to support or join in when raising money for charity
Raising money for charity is a great way to form team friendships, doing an activity together that suits everyone outside of work for a good cause helps every get to know each other
Get Laughology in for a team building day
Occasionally we bring shoelaces, but we do stuff that’s science backed and not cringe worthy. Laughing together is one of the best ways to break down barriers and build friendships. You can do this in a more structure way by using something like Insights profiling or just chat to us about what you think you would like. We’re a creative bunch and have some great ideas.
