Creating a more positive working culture for women - because ‘boys will be boys’ just doesn’t cut it

We’ve all heard of misogyny, but do you know what the male equivalent is called?  

Misandry – I looked it up. 

Why do I ask? Because I’ve been mulling on writing this ‘creating a more positive working culture for women’ blog for some time but didn’t want to be accused of being a misandrist – I don’t dislike or have contempt for men and boys. In fact, I choose to spend far more of my time with men than women and, to coin a phrase, ‘some of my best friends are men.’  

And there we go. As a woman, I wasn’t sure that I should speak up and commit pen to paper in the first place about this topic. Now that I am doing, I’m already trying to justify myself before I begin. Please don’t cancel me… 

The other gender gap 

 Since 2017, companies with over 250 employees have had to publish their gender pay gap reports. These show that the pay gap between men and women has slowly been declining over time. So, that’s good, right? The FTSE Women Leaders Review also shows progression in the appointments of women to boards and leadership teams. Great! 

Both reports highlight further improvements that need to be made, but it’s good to see that some things are moving in the right direction. Albeit slowly. 

 What we don’t have however, is a way to measure how inclusive workplace cultures are; the extent and impact of any ‘boys will be boys’ attitudes; how comfortable the women are to work there, etc. One way to find out is through word of mouth, which can be tricky to glean. The other is, possibly, exit surveys where people might be slightly more forthcoming. 

So, without this accurate ‘measurement’ what do we have to go on? Well, having worked with hundreds of organisations and thousands of people, I’m using the conversations I’ve had (both personally and professionally), as well as behaviours I’ve seen or been told about and good old gut feeling. 

With this in mind, it seems clear to me that some men need to be better aware and understand the impact that they can have on their colleagues – both positive and negative. And some women need support to thrive in healthier working environments. Of course, before anyone starts jumping up and down, in some places the opposite will be true too. 

Giving women a voice 

At Laughology, we work on lots of longer-term programmes with companies, giving people the chance to reflect on their personal development. As part of this, people share their learning journeys in the final session, as well as the longer-term targets that they’ve set for themselves. 

It’s very common for women to identify the need to be more assertive in meetings; to speak up if they have an opinion; to be confident in asking questions to clarify. 

To enable them to do that, these are some of the things that they have told us would help: 

• Being sent the agenda, and any talking points related to the meeting, beforehand. Also, having the opportunity to respond via email either before or after. This doesn’t necessarily help them to speak up in the moment, but it does allow their voice to be heard. This is vital for the business too, as it’s important to hear a range of diverse opinions to keep moving forward. 
• One woman spoke of her manager who, during online meetings, had the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a silly question’ as their background. Reinforcing the fact that, if you’re not sure of something, just ask - the chances are that there are at least one or two others that aren’t sure either. 
• Giving people the opportunity in a meeting to chat in small groups or in breakout rooms if online, before feeding back.  
• Providing training to help everyone feel more confident in the business environment. This might be through a Presenting Self or Presentation Skills session. 

Acknowledging women’s experience and opinions 

Even when women are happy to speak up, it seems that there are occasions when they get interrupted, talked over or shut down. This can lead to them not contributing again. For example: 

A woman spoke about joining a male dominated organisation. In one of her first meetings, the chair was asking for solutions to a problem. Being new, and bringing an outside perspective, she volunteered an idea, which was met with a tumbleweed-type response. Okay, maybe she’d misunderstood – this clearly wouldn’t work, for some reason unknown. 

Ten minutes later, a man in the room said the same thing and this was greeted with great fanfare. He’d only gone and done it! 

In another instance, a woman spoke about being the expert in the room, but not being able to get a word in edgeways. Try as she might. 

To overcome situations such as these, we need Chairs of meetings to be on the ball, encouraging women’s opinions and being ready to challenge any verbal peacocking, when appropriate. They should make sure that: 

• All ideas are fully acknowledged. If they aren’t possible then the facts as to why not should be discussed, making sure that this doesn’t tip into mansplaining.  
• If someone does repeat a suggestion, it’s called out. This can be done in a kind way. 'Yes, that’s what X said earlier. I think we’ve all had some thinking time to mull it over and consider its benefits. Thank you for raising it again.’ 
• In introductions, everybody’s role and expertise is made clear. Then, during the meeting, the Chair could give the heads up that, ‘We will listen to everyone’s comments if we have time, but I am especially interested in hearing Y’s opinion as she has the experience and expertise in this area…’  

Women supporting women 

Of course, some women are difficult to work with and for - I had two such female bosses early in my career and I wouldn’t have wished them on anyone (but that’s a whole other blog!)  So, recently, during someone’s presentation, it was lovely to hear that she feels her organisation has a culture where women support women. 

As part of her learning journey, she’d asked a range of people to respond to a short questionnaire to find out what they think of her, to identify any unknown strengths and blind spots she might have. Brave – I know!   

The thing that hit home most for her was that the women who responded had taken the time to explain their replies more fully than a yes or no. They’d told her what she was doing well, which is always good to hear. Also, what she can improve on, going forward – just what she was hoping for.  

The woman said that now she would like to be a person who advocates for, and supports, other women – this may be through mentoring or coaching them, or just having regular little chats. 

There is always an opportunity for the audience to comment and/or ask questions after people’s presentations. Interestingly, after hers, a male senior leader said that he hoped, in the future, it wouldn’t just be that women support women, but that it would be helpful for women to support the men in the organisation to do better, too.  

Yay! More of this please. 

If you need some support in your organisation to create a more inclusive culture, get in touch with Doug and he’ll be able to share what we can do to help – doug@laughology.co.uk