Handing difficult people at work is never easy - particularly if you don’t even know where to begin. But rather than having to just put up with it - which makes you grind your teeth at night - there is a way to deal with it. And our Selina Brown is here with four practical strategies to help you. Mood hoovers and stubborn team members, be gone!
Difficult people at work - the reality
We’ve all been there; you innocently say or ask something at work, and the other person bites your head off like they’re eating a burger with all its trimmings. It feels like you’ve been metaphorically slapped in the face. Adrenaline pumping through your veins, you retreat from battle, often wishing you’d handled the situation differently or been able to manage it with more confidence.
Some people are difficult, time and time again. Other people are just having the odd bad day. Whatever the situation, you want to feel prepared when handling difficult people at work - particularly as their behaviour is often outside your control.
The reality is that we have all offended someone unintentionally, and someone has annoyed us, but it can become trickier when you’re at work because you need to be professional. So here are some things to remember when dealing with those uncomfortable situations with your people.
Four ways to handle difficult people or situations at work
- Be compassionate to the person and consider not reacting to them
Picture this. Someone at work asks when your baby is due. You politely reply (through gritted teeth) that you’re just bloated with food, and there is no baby. Cue embarrassment and horror on the other person’s face.
More often than not, the other person will feel s@*t because they’re embarrassed and have overacted. If it’s a close work pal and it’s beneficial to them in terms of their growth and your relationship, you could highlight their behaviour the next day after you’ve both had time and space.
Alternatively, you can let it go and choose to laugh about it afterwards. We all make mistakes. Studies have shown that laughter releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, which make you feel good. It can also release tension and embarrassment.
- Notice an unusual change in behaviour or reaction
If someone reacts in an emotional or angry way to a situation or a conversation, and you have a good relationship with the person, something as simple as asking them what’s wrong can help them get things off their chest. Some people just need to be heard, and talking about it can help without solutions being offered.
- Remember, often, a person’s “bad mood” has nothing to do with you.
We can’t control other people’s behaviour, regardless of how we think they should behave, but we can control our own.
Some people will, unfortunately, take out their stresses on you which shows in the form of abruptness or passive-aggressive behaviour. However, as much as the “problem” may not be you, you don’t have to be someone’s emotional punching bag and can set your boundaries by suggesting to reschedule a meeting when you notice the person is in a bad mood.
Sometimes, this may not be possible; however, you can keep the meeting brief by staying on topic as well as highlighting something positive to keep things feeling upbeat.
- Appreciate people’s differences
The frequency Illusion is when you notice something; your brain will notice more of it. For example, think of when you take a long road trip and notice red cars, and then you keep seeing red cars everywhere after that.
Suppose you can practise appreciating people’s differences on a daily basis. In that case, your brain will find more things to appreciate about them, resulting in you feeling better in the long run. We know it’s not always easy, but finding something you value or like about that person will only help you manage their behaviour moving forward.
When it comes to conflicts or handling difficult people at work, there really is no size that fits all. However, Monica Woffold’s TEDx talk and book offer further suggestions about managing other people and their differences.
Come from a place of understanding and compassion, realise that it’s usually not about you and let that help you gain confidence when dealing with more challenging people. Both in the workplace and out.
Alternatively, if you want to explore this topic with us, contact our Doug - doug@laughology.co.uk - to learn more about how we can deliver a session online or in person. He’s not difficult at all.