Virtual communication - are the days of calling people in your undercrackers really gone

Remember the good old days when people used phones to talk to each other? Or sat around a table, in the flesh? Now it’s the era of virtual communication and Stephanie Davies is pining for the time when she could sit around in her undercrackers and stick two fingers up at Ian from IT.

Virtual communication - when did it get so complicated?

At some point in the last decade, virtual communication got complicated. Skype begat Google Hangout, which begat Zoom, which begat Webex. And so on, until today, when video conference software multiplies like bacteria cells on a petri dish. It’s hard to keep up. I was given the choice recently: LifeSize or BlueJeans? I didn’t know if I was going to talk to someone or get an inappropriate picture with a number to call for chats.

Who chooses these obscure platforms? Usually it’s Ian from IT who plumbs for the most random system he knows because he’s a hipster. We’ll use Dongle Chillpad, he decides. So you download the app, register, make up a password, download the app again when your first attempt fails. 

You’re then forced to speak to a call centre when the app crashes, at which point you’re subjected to the telephonic version of rendition, in which your call is hijacked, sent halfway round the world and then lost in a Kafka-esque quagmire of faceless tech ineptitude.

Are there advantages to video calls?

Conference and video calls do have their advantages, allowing us to connect in an ever-global world, work from anywhere and speak to anyone, often from your home, which can cause issues. Gone are the days of speaking to colleagues from home in your undercrackers, bowl of Cornflakes on one side, mug of tea on the other. 

Back when conference calls meant audio only, you could stick your fingers up at the speaker when you didn’t like what was being said, or slap your head in frustration when Tatiana from Comms mentioned the phrase ‘idea shower’ again.

Calls are no longer calls. They are telecons, or hangouts. And they must be booked in advance. When did that happen? Today, if a call arrives unannounced, it’s greeted with the same fear, suspicion and incredulity that a phone ringing after 9pm used to elicit in the 1980s. We assume it’s either a crank caller or the emergency services calling to inform us of some terrible family tragedy.

And then there’s the minefield of etiquette. What do you wear to a video call? Can you get away without makeup? Is it rude not to be on video when everyone else is visible? What room do you use? What background (on one recent video call with a PR consultant, it was patently obvious that she’d carefully arranged a stack of high-brow books behind her on a shelf, to make her look intelligent)? Is the faff even necessary? Can we all just email?

Virtual communication - a tech nightmare?

Luckily, my team are jokers and compete to see who can do the most obscure thing during team conference calls, which makes them bearable. Last week, two of them appeared to be naked when they logged in. They explained it was ‘dress down Friday’ (don’t panic HR, they just had bare shoulders and it was an internal call only).

And then, finally when you get to the actual call, nothing works and the whole thing descends into chaos. Random callers join halfway through. The software that brings the speaker to the foreground shuffles video tiles around on your screen when everyone speaks at once until you think you are watching a Duran Duran video. 

Then the video freezes, leaving faces frozen in unflattering grimaces or expressions of orgasmic joy (I try to screenshot these for blackmail purposes). People inexplicably drop off. Mary has left the meeting. Mia is on hold. Stephanie has lost the will to live. Eventually you abandon the whole thing.

Call me old fashioned, but wouldn’t it be nice now and then to have a normal conversation, with a normal telephone? Or maybe just a quick email. So next time you need a quick catch up with someone, consider just calling - it would be quicker, less hassle for both parties and you can do it in your undercrackers.

If you need help with communication within your team, why not take a look at our Positive Communication Skills and Relationship Building workshop? Email doug@laughology.co.uk and he can tell you more - he’ll be on his best virtual comms behaviour, we promise!