Listening to the radio at the start of the week, I heard Mondays referred to as the ‘dreaded start to the week’. Later the same day, I spoke to my brother, who rents a house with his wife and their two children in Western Australia (I know, I hate him too), and they have rent inspections every three months.
As you can imagine, this can feel like every five minutes when your busy family life regularly wrecks the joint. He referred to it as the ‘dreaded rent inspection’. There’s that heavily loaded word again.
Loaded Language and Stress
“Loaded words are words or phrases which carry strong emotional implications, both positively and negatively. “ (Reah, 1998)
These words can make us feel strong emotions, impacting our thoughts and actions. Quite simply, negatively loaded words can stress us out!
They are a tool used in tabloid headlines and social media posts to hook readers because we humans love drama, as is evident in our everyday use of language.
Ever heard yourself referring to the traffic as ‘horrific’, or to your day as a ‘disaster’, when the reality was quite different from what the words implied? These words can directly impact how we feel.
The weightier and more emotive the word, the more we feel it, adding to our stress levels. And it’s not just the person saying the words who feels the impact; it’s to whom the words are spoken and those around who can overhear.
Avoiding unnecessary stress
Think of when you have been on public transport and someone nearby speaks on their phone with heightened emotions and loaded language. It’s almost impossible to remain immune, even from complete strangers.
Stress is a part of life, and actually, we need a bit of stress to get shizz done. As we said in our recent public webinar, stress is not a dirty word… and I can’t ‘stress’ that enough (sorry!).
However, there are things we can do to avoid unnecessary stress. In the case of loaded language, do a language audit. Ask yourself when you come across challenging situations, are you using loaded or realistic language?
Examples:
LOADED: “That was a complete disaster.”
REALISTIC: “That was a bit tough.”
LOADED: “My journey here was horrific.”
REALISTIC: “My journey here was tricky.”
Changing the record
Ask yourself how often and in what context you find yourself using loaded language, either to yourself in your head or out loud. I know, it’s heavy stuff! When you notice negative loaded language has crept into your everyday life, leading to wonky thoughts and feelings, think about how you could FLIP it.
For example, changing the dreaded house inspection, meeting, etc to challenging, tricky or pesky allows you to acknowledge the situation is not ideal, but also the world hasn’t ended.
And actually, with perspective, you know you can deal with this. After all, you have several times before, and it’s never as bad as thinking about it. Could you go even further and take any positive actions?
With my brother’s rent inspection, it forces the family to tidy, often leading to finding items they thought they had lost, and they can’t deny that it’s satisfying to walk into a clean and tidy house. Is there an opportunity here to delegate tasks so that everyone does their bit on a regular basis, and then it doesn’t seem like such a big mountain to climb when the next inspection date comes around?
With the meeting that is no longer dreaded, can you examine why you attach such heavy language to it and ask what the challenges are and how you can best prepare for them? Would it help to have someone else present with you if it is with someone you find challenging?
And would having the meeting in a less formal environment help to relax those attending? Would a different way of communicating help? Taking action helps us move forward, feel better, and be less stressed.
So, as my Nanna said, ‘Watch your language’ for better stress awareness.
During this Stress Awareness month, we have a whole host of resources available to help you. Check them out right here. You can also get 10% off our mental health workshop throughout April by contacting Doug – doug@laughology.co.uk – quoting MHBLOG10.
